Why does my child have anxiety?
My cleaning wife came yesterday and asked me: "My boy is very anxious. Facing everything and it has only gotten worse here during the Corona crisis. He regularly asks us if he is going to get sick or die. He washes more and more hands "How can it be? He's never been in a bad situation or been seriously ill"?
To that I asked the woman: "Are you anxious yourself? Or how do you react when you yourself get bad news". With downcast eyes she could confirm my suspicion. You probably already know that children look up to their parents and that the parents' reaction helps to give children a valuable hint about a situation.
So if, for example. if a dog comes walking and mother gets scared, then I better get scared too.
1. Because then it must mean that dogs are dangerous. Here a conviction is created in the child.
2. I love my mother and want to be like them, so I copy her behavior. Here a close relationship is created with the mother because "then I am like my mother".
Personally, I have always been told: "You must be so happy that you are adopted, because in our family we have always had cardiovascular disease and obesity. In Asians are always so thin". That's just how it is. A fact. And one fact cannot be argued against. Or can one?
All those in my family, on my mother's side, are struggling with both obesity and cardiovascular disease. But that's because their belief is: There's nothing we can do. It's in our DNA. Impossible to fight and then you might as well give up.
Or one can use his mind and create a new belief? The choice is up to the individual. This is what I do in my daily work as a Rapid Transformational Therapist. Here I see clients turn their limiting beliefs upside down, tapping into their subconscious.
Well back to the mother, my cleaning assistant, who needed quick advice here and now. I asked her to find examples of different situations where she was scared but where she got through it. Make the son think: When mother could, so can I !.
Children are capable of the most incredible things when we believe in them. But it starts with ourselves. The more you work on your own patterns and beliefs, the more you will find that your children change, because your children are a mirror of yourself - whether you want to or not.